How To Forgive And Forget: The Truth About Forgiveness

Much has been said about forgiveness throughout the ages. Despite all the spiritual and self-help advice we receive, however, most people still find it very difficult to forgive.
While we often say the words "I forgive you" or "let's forget and move on," still deep within our hearts we are not really letting go of most of the anger and blame we feel against someone who may have seriously wronged us. This can result in ongoing personal suffering that, for some, continues to last throughout their lifetime.
The reason why most spiritual and self-help advice about forgiveness doesn't help is because it doesn't delve deeply enough into the actual causes of our anger and blame in the first place. When you correctly understand the true causes of anger in human beings, you begin to deeply appreciate that the most important causes of anger and resentment lie mainly within us, and not with the behavior of others or whatever may have happened in the past.
These internal causes are anger-producing thought patterns and action patterns that become triggered within in our bodies. Often, these internal thought patterns and action or behavior patterns produce "false internal realities" within us that we automatically assume to be true, but that have little correspondence to the truth about what really happened. But we end up getting angry and holding on to our anger anyway, because our bodies automatically assume that all of these "internal realities" are indeed true.
For example, automatic anger-producing thoughts such as "someone did something they shouldn't have done" or "I was hurt or harmed by what happened" or "the other person was unilaterally to blame for what occurred" are frequently incorrect. As a result of these mistaken "internal realities," we conclude that a crime has been committed and that someone should apologize, offer to make amends, and/or be punished. When none of these things occur, or sometimes even when they do, we may find it very difficult to forgive.
There is no way you can "let go" of your anger or truly forgive the past as long as "false internal realities" remain unchallenged within you. You cannot pretend "all is forgiven" when you are certain that: a) you were seriously harmed; b) the other person (or yourself) was unilaterally to blame; and c) this person should have done something different.
THE SECRET TO TRUE FORGIVENESS IS TO CHALLENGE YOUR INTERNAL ASSUMPTIONS THAT LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE AN UNFORGIVABLE CRIME WAS ACTUALLY COMMITTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The best way to do this is to recognize where your automatic assumptions, which are causing your anger and resentment, are false or misleading. Once you challenge and disprove these "false internal realities," your anger and resentment will quickly disappear, without you having to do anything to try to force this to happen.
Even when a true crime, such as a theft or murder was committed, it is still possible--although not easy--to forgive the offending party. This can sometimes be done by challenging your automatic assumption that the person should have "known better" or should have behaved in a different manner.
Copyright (c) 2013 M.C.Orman, M.D., FLP

Doc Orman, M.D. is a physician, author, stress coach, and founder of The Stress Mastery Academy. To learn more about his advice on how to forgive, as well as how to solve other lingering stress or anxiety problems, visit http://stressandanxietysolutions.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Doc_Orman_M.D.

4 Brain Exercises To Enhance Your Decision Making Skills

Brain exercises are activities aimed at enhancing the cognitive functions of the brain. In other words, they promote the ability of the brain to process information, relate situations and make up a rational and clear conclusion about plans or issues. Therefore, decision making depends entirely on the brain and nothing else. This is why it is important for a person to ensure his or her mind at its best fit and up to the task any time by doing brain exercises.
Here are some brain exercises that can enhance the brain performance as tool for making decisions.
Physical exercise and Neurogenesis
Neurogenesis is the process where new brain cells are generated depending on how active brain is. Therefore, as the brain becomes more active, more connections are made between neuron cells to each other, and each neuron can be activated through active experiences either directly or indirectly. Physical exercises are one of the indirect means of stimulating neurons; they do this by increasing the release of nerve growth ingredients known as nerve growth factor that enhances health and growth in neurons.
Memory
Memory plays a very important role in every decision making activity, and it uses cognitive skills including reasoning, mental calculations and others. This is because the mind is engaged in a variety of work. To put this into practice, for example, one is encouraged to memorize words of a poem or a song that one doesn't know; this boosts chemicals for memory improvement.
Another method is by using the hand that is not dominant to performing things or used to normally carry out activities. For example, a left-handed person using right hand to brush teeth, eat most of the time has the right hand as dominant. Using the dominant hand helps engage an opposite side of the brain, thus balancing the brain activation to achieve desired results in brain performance.
Attention
To pay attention is to be alert and move out the comfort zone. This is accomplished by changing one's certain routine, for example, by changing the house arrangement, which will make the brain to be excited and be alert to a new order.
Multi-tasking is a great employer of attention; activities such as running and listen to music can be combined. Also, while driving, one can come up with a math problem to solve. In such situations, the brain is forced to do more than one skill at a time.
Visual-Spatial
Visual-Spatial is an activity that makes one experience a deeper feeling toward his or her environment by way of interaction. As an example, one can take a look at your environment for some time, say 5 minutes, and try to memorize as many objects that can be seen, as possible. After some time, say one hour, the person is expected to write down all things he could remember seeing. This enables one to interact with the environment more efficiently and become part of it.
Another simple and effective exercise is where one walks into a room to find five objects in their different locations, and then the objects are removed and the person is forced to remember their original positions respectively. These brain exercises enhance brain performance by waking the "brain from sleep".

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_Frost

Top 12 change quotations and sayings

1. “Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at you.” -David Brinkley
2. “May the bridges I burn light the way.”
3. “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.” -Warren Buffett
4. “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” –Life’s Little Instruction Book
5. “Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.” –Maya Angelou
6. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
7. “By changing nothing, nothing changes.” -Tony Robbins
8. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” -Anonymous
9. “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” -Deepak Chopra
10. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” -C.S. Lewis
11. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe
12. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.” -Mark Twain

How Texting Can Help Improve Your Relationship

Today, I'd like to share some simple, but naughty texting techniques with you. With today's technology, a person can communicate romance, excitement and anything else that one can think through a variety of means. Texting is one such example, but it is often ignored in favor of other mediums, like emails, and Facebook posts. This is a mistake, because there are certain emotions that are best expressed through texting as opposed to other mediums of electronic communication.
In any case, you can create a great text message with a simple one-liners like these:
- I just can't stop thinking of...
- Stop!
- If I could only tell you...
The idea behind these kinds of messages actually comes from marketing. They're meant to shock the senses and elicit curiosity. Although they don't always work in the commercial world, this technique is very effective when used in relationships, particularly if the person you're sending them to likes to get such messages.
If you can create a good introductory message, you will be able to garner the right attention, and she'll respond to your initial message with a curious "What?" From here, you will need to send an appreciation text. You can write any kind of message that you like, but it helps if you can be a little specific on what you wish to say to your special someone.
"I'm lucky to have you" or "I already miss you" are the kind of messages that stimulate feelings of gratitude and endearment. In any case, it's up to you to be creative, and to create text messages that can make your girl smile. These messages may seem a bit cliche, but if you use them at the right moments, and provided you don't overuse them, they can really help improve your relationship.
If however, you and your girl already have a strong relationship then you can try naughtier messages. In writing these messages, it's important to use the present tense and to be as descriptive as possible. Remember that unlike men, women tend to be more imaginative when it comes to romance, and so you will need to offer a lot of descriptions on how you'd like a special date or dinner to go. Describing sights, sounds, smells, and most important of all, feelings can help add excitement and meaning to a particular text message. It also helps if you know how to use the words that women typically like, such as "imagine" or "feel."
A good example to use are romance novels. Some people may consider them trashy, but they can give you some excellent insights on how the female mind works, and what kind of words excite them. Love scenes, for example, use certain words and phrases, and you can use them to create the ideal text messages.
Text messages are like an art form. They require practice and a little perseverance. Even if your girlfriend doesn't like some of your text messages, that's no reason to give up. Keep practicing your text messaging skills, and you'll soon have the right template to make her swoon.
Try it out and let me know how she reacts.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7342918

Do you know what makes someone beautiful?

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”

“Do you know what makes someone beautiful? Confidence. You don't have to have this shape eyes or that shape lips. No one seems to be able to decide which shape is best anyway. You can have every kind of blemish. It's confidence that attracts people. That's what everybody's looking for. It's what no potion can really give you. And believe me, Belle, you've got it. You've got it if you want it.”
― Daniel Nayeri, Another Faust 

Affirmations for Self Confidence and Self-Belief

 Positive Self Esteem

 I am confident that I can achieve anything

I have something special to offer the world

Others like and respect me

I am a wonderful human being

I feel great about myself and my life

Self Esteem Positive Affirmations

 

I deserve to feel good about myself

I know I can achieve anything

Having respect for myself helps others to like and respect me

• Feeling good about myself is normal for me

I approve of myself and feel great about myself.

I radiate love and respect and in return I get love and respect.

I am a well loved and well respected person.

I am a cultured and wise and yet, a humble person.

My high self esteem enables me to respect others and beget respect in turn.

I am free to make my own choices and decisions.

I am a unique and a very special person and worthy of respect from others.

My high self esteem allows me to accept compliments easily and also freely compliment others.

I accept others as they are and they in turn accept me as I am.
It matters little what others say. What matters is how I react and what I believe.

All is well in my world and I trade love and acceptance with the world.

I have high self esteem as I respect myself.

5 tips can help you to love and esteem your self .

Hi readers of success skills 

today i will speak about a very important object in our life is the self esteem .

can you answer me honestly

did you love and esteem your self ?

did you know that 80 %  of people they don't esteem them selves as it should .

did you know that most problems in our life  caused by the low of our respect of our selves . 

here is some tips can help you to love and esteem your self: 

1- accept your self as you are , say to your self :  i love my self , i love my nose , i love my skin .....etc.

2- every day say positive words like : i am beautifull , i am strong , i am happy , i am intelligent  , i am a star ....... etc.

3- you must every day read , yes you must read books , articles .....etc , but you must read about positive things , i mean read about nice books like "the secret " ,  read about Human Development wrote , there  are very famous personnes  and writers in human development like : anthony robbins , louise hay , ibrahim elfiky .....etc .

4- be positive person and be very optimistic , in this life you must to be everyday optimistic , see to your life with a optimistic  view  ,if you want to be happy in this life and achieve all your dreams so you must be optimist person .

5-  not jealous of anyone , cause every person in this life is different  , may be your friend have money but he is not happy , unlike you , you don't have money but you are happy . 

 live everyday with happiness and optimism

 immerse your life with love 

do not look to the past for it is gone 

   and don't look to tomorrow because it has not yet come. 

                                                                                                            " Hanna marri "

Finding Peace And Happiness

Life is a journey without a beginning and without an end. It is made up of an immense number of experiences, each one shaping the next. And these experiences are characterised by the emotions you feel whilst you're going through that experience. If you feel negative feelings then don't judge them as bad. Nothing is good or bad. It just is. You are the one who assigns the labels. What some people might experience as sheer bliss, for others it is just utter hell. If you love animals and nature and your friend loves motor races, how would you feel if you were attending a 2-day motor racing event with your friend? You would probably not be very happy, whilst your friend would be having a ball. That is how individual our experiences and their associated feelings are.

We can choose what we want to experience and even more so, we can choose how we want to feel during that experience. Choosing your experience is the same as following your truth. Listen to what you prefer deep inside and follow this preference. And if you follow what you prefer, then you will feel inner peace because you have chosen your preference and therefore there is nothing to dislike, i.e. not that can cause you to feel negative. Whilst you're in an experience that you've chosen, you can still suddenly feel unhappy. Then again, listen to your inner voice and check what your preference is in that moment. When you then take the necessary steps to change your experience in accordance with your new preference and you change your feelings at the same time about your experience. There is no reason for you to feel unhappy ever. It is all in your power to change your experience in every moment and with that your feelings from negative to positive.
Your thoughts are very much part of you and who you are. Your thoughts guide you throughout your life and they are at the very beginning of what you create. Every step, every action, every creation, every experience starts with a thought. And that thought triggers another thought and so on. And when your thoughts - that are largely influenced by your experiences - are negative then it is very difficult to choose a positive experience to make the next thought a positive one.
Thoughts are immensely powerful but they are also hard to control one-by-one. Your emotions are therefore your best guidance system to follow because they always reflect the type of thoughts you have. If you tell yourself over and over again that your life is miserable and that you're unhappy (as an example of a negative thought), then your emotions will reflect these thoughts and you will feel miserable. When you choose to think happy thoughts instead, then you will feel happy and empowered and you will experience inner peace. Therefore inner peace is a reflection of the emotions you have and at the root of this, which thoughts you chose.
It is important to understand that you choose your thoughts and your emotions. They do not enter you through some mysterious process. No, you are responsible for your thoughts and emotions and not the outer circumstances in your life. You experience certain circumstances because of your emotions and thoughts, not the other way round. The Universe sends us whatever matches our thoughts and feelings. If we feel lack, we will experience more lack. If we feel happy, we will attract more happiness. Once you accept this responsibility and really fully understand all its implications, then you can start to choose the thoughts that are in alignment with who you want to be.

Imagine some of the world's top class athletes. They train to think success and winning. Part of their success is due to physical training, no doubt about that! But equally important is training the mind to see themselves winning. Do you think they never have moment of doubt? Of course they do but they have learned how to refocus their thoughts in a positive way. And just like athletes manage to break world records through physical and mental training, so can you refocus your thoughts and emotions on who you want to be in every moment of your life.

And the final step to be who you want to be is to follow through on your actions. Once you've ascertained what your truth is, you need to follow through with your actions. For example, if your preference is to go to the cinema, or start writing a book, or spend an evening with a dear friend, you need to take the appropriate action. Otherwise you're creating an image in your subconscious of not being true to yourself. It is similar to promising a friend to do them a favour, e.g. invite them for dinner, and never actually following through on that. After some time the friend won't believe in the invitation any longer. It's the same with your subconscious. If you only follow through on the surface by acknowledging your preference but never living it, never following through on it, then some part of you will feel cheated and you stop believing in yourself. And that is very damaging indeed to achieving the life you've dreamt of. You can't tap into the abundant potential of this Universe and at the same time send yourself the message that you don't believe in yourself. It's as if you're trying to drive a car with the handbrake on. It won't work!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/209904

How to Build Your Self Esteem

Surround Yourself With Positive People
Look at the company you keep.  Are they generally positive people or do they bring you down? It's hard, but sometimes you have to cut people out of your life that bring you down.  When you're on a quest to learn to love yourself, it's important you spend time with people that are fun, positive and uplifting.



 Daily Affirmations

If you're old enough to remember Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, you may remember the phrase "I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it people like me!" 
This phrase may have generated a lot of laughs in the 90's but it really is an example of a useful affirmation.
Try this.  Every morning when you get up, stand in the mirror and say 5 things you like about yourself.  It can be anything from "I like my smile" to "I am good at making people laugh." 
Do this every morning before you start your day.  The effects from this exercise over time can be amazing.





 Face Your Fears
We all have at least one thing we've always wanted to try but perhaps we were afraid to try it.  Write down a list of things you've always wanted to do.  Pick the one that's most important and go for it.  You will feel so proud of yourself for taking on a challenge you've always feared.

 Feed Your Brain
Get a copy of How to Raise Your Self Esteem and Honoring The Self by Nathaniel Brandon.
I own both of these and they are very insightful books with great advice.  They are both easy reads and "How to Raise Your Self Esteem" contains exercises that help you break free of the negative self-concepts and conquer you anger, depression and anxiety.

 Learn a New Skill
When you learn how to do something new, it helps build your self esteem.  Ever wanted to learn how to dance?  Take a salsa class.  Thought about learning a foreign language? Take a Spanish class.  Not only will you meet new people but it will help you feel good about yourself.

 Remember to Reward and Compliment Yourself

I was notorious for always criticizing myself for things I didn't or couldn't do.  If I had only put half as much emphasize on praising myself for my accomplishments as I did tearing myself down, it would have made a world of difference.
There's nothing wrong with saying "Good job" to yourself after you've completed a task.  When you do this on a regular basis you begin to appreciate yourself.  It may feel weird at first, but keep at it and you'll notice a positive change over time.

Where Do You Get Your Self Esteem?

Instead of looking for self-esteem in what you own, look for it in what you do.
My friend has several home improvement projects in mind and was worried about which one to choose and what it would cost. I asked her "Why are these choices important to you?" and she said, "I need them to boost my self esteem." Where do you get your self-esteem?
Self-esteem comes from within
It's not about the power suit or the great hair cut - those may be confidence builders, but self-esteem is about what you think about yourself. It's about how much you love yourself, how good a person you try to be. Self-esteem comes with how you conduct yourself. It comes from the choices you make and how you show up in your world. Your feelings of self-worth come from within. Your self-respect comes only from how you perceive yourself. Can you look in your mirror and say, "I love you."?

Don't be fooled by the outer trimmings
Have you ever met someone who presented a good image but wasn't a very nice person to know? All the trappings in the world won't make that person more likeable. Are all pretty people likeable? Are all unattractive people unlikeable? Of course not. It's what's within that counts. The size of your house or the quality of your clothes are just trimmings. The important "you" is in your smile, your kind eyes and your appreciative laughter. How is your inside showing up on the outside?
How can you increase your self-worth?
Money, or the lack of it, can be a great leveler. I know a community of retired senior women who live their lives with very little money. Their apartments are all the same size; their incomes are all about the same as in not very much, so they are valued for their friendships, their common interests and their contributions to their community. What they do or don't own is totally irrelevant to who they are. You can improve your feelings of self-worth by acknowledging the gifts of others, by helping those around you, by being kind and helpful, and by acknowledging the gifts of their being that every person brings to you.
How do you show up in your world?
If the Universe started giving out gold stars, it wouldn't be for the furniture in your house or the clothes on your back. It would be for what you do for others, how you respond to them, how you support them, how you laugh and love with them.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7012223