Lose the Battle - Win the War

Sometimes we have to be prepared to lose battles in order to win the war.
God's way is patience, persistence and not-giving-up. If the battles can't defeat us, the war may still eventually be won.
Finishing well in life is not really about succeeding at every point along the journey.
Finishing well is more about pacing ourselves and acknowledging there are many mistakes to be made along the way, whilst savouring the wins as they come, knowing that they provide us with sufficient feedback to suggest we are on the right path.
Losing a battle in order to eventually win a war is a wise concession; to allow a loss to occur as in yielding for a better overall outcome.
There are many times in life where people will need to see us bend toward them; toward compromise. Relationships are always based in give-and-take. If we cannot bend toward people, copping our losses with grace, there will be less give in return.
When we can look at life beyond the battles, knowing that the war is only against one thing - the agenda of evil - we appreciate how relatively unimportant single events are.
The overall context of life exists in that truth: nothing, of itself, is that important. Only the overall balance of things is a true guide.
Losing the battle to remain in contention for winning the overall war is wisdom. And many such wars are not really wars at all; they are just improbable situations we wish to turn into probable outcomes.
The wisdom in remaining in the race despite significant discouragements is realised in persistence. As we persevere against our better judgment, which has no sight for faith at all, we employ faith: the invisible hope of what we wish for but have no evidence for seeing.
When we are able to lose a battle and remain patient we demonstrate character.
Such character is home to humility and perspective; to realism and peace.
The overall objective of life is to learn to focus on the overall war, not on the battles. If we are focused on the overall war - and it's a spiritual one - we will do what we need to do to endure the battles. And that is all we need do - endure.
Yes, there is peace upon this realism; to accept humbly what we can and can't do in life; to accept our capabilities and limitations gracefully.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Wickham

27 Daily Affirmations to Boost Self-Esteem and Develop Self-Confidence

Daily affirmations and declarations:

1. I am unique. I feel good about being alive and being me.
2. Life is fun and rewarding.
3. Amazing opportunities exist for me in every aspect of my life.
4. There are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
5. I love challenges, they bring out the best in me.
6. I replace "I must", "I should" and "I have to" with "I choose". (try it with something you think you have to do, and replace must with choose... notice the difference?)
7. I choose to be happy right now. I love my life.
8. I appreciate everything I have. I live in joy.
9. I am courageous. I am willing to act in spite of any fear.
10. I am positive and optimistic. I believe things will always work out for the best.
11. It's easy to make friends. I attract positive and kind people into my life.
12. It's easy to meet people. I create positive and supportive relationships.
13. I am a powerful creator. I create the life I want.
14. I am OK as I am. I accept and love myself.
15. I am confident. I trust myself.
16. I am successful right now.
17. I am passionate. I am outrageously enthusiastic and inspire others.
18. I am calm and peaceful.
19. I have unlimited power at my disposal.
20. I am optimistic. I believe things will always work out for the best.
21. I am kind and loving. I am compassionate and truly care for others.
22. I am focused and persistent. I will never quit.
23. I am energetic and enthusiastic. Confidence is my second nature.
24. I treat everyone with kindness and respect.
25. I inhale confidence and exhale fear.
26. I am flexible. I adapt to change quickly.
27. I have integrity. I am totally reliable. I do what I say.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7244272

Awesome inspirational quote

5 Confidence-Boosting Quotes!

1. “To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” - Alan Cohen

2. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” - Norman Vincent Peale

3. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” - Oscar Wilde

4. “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.” - Sophia Loren

5. “I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I'm either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren't attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy.”  - Queen Latifah

Improve Your Self Confidence by Improving Your Concentration

Concentration and Self Confidence. The more you concentrate on what you’re doing, the better work you’ll do. Better work can’t help but lead to more confidence! As Grenville Kleiser points out, “Fix the mind upon one thing at a time. Be interested in what you do.Persistently work for a definite object. Take new responsibilities. Apply yourself diligently. Let desire for achievement make you concentrate with power on the work in hand.”
Concentration Affirmations. Memorize the following affirmations.

1. Examine things closely.
2. Avoid everything that distracts you.
3. Plan all work as well as you can.
4. Concentrate with all your power.

Charles Kingsley on Concentration:
I go at what I am about as if there were nothing else in the world for the time being. That’s the secret of all hard-working men; but most of them can’t carry it into their amusements. – Charles Kingsley

Do you know what makes someone beautiful?

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”

“Do you know what makes someone beautiful? Confidence. You don't have to have this shape eyes or that shape lips. No one seems to be able to decide which shape is best anyway. You can have every kind of blemish. It's confidence that attracts people. That's what everybody's looking for. It's what no potion can really give you. And believe me, Belle, you've got it. You've got it if you want it.”
― Daniel Nayeri, Another Faust 

7 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?

While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. … that can be changed.

 1- Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.

2- Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behavior. It works for them; it will work for you.

3- Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.


4- Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.

5- Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.

6- Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.

7- Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.

5 effective ways to instantly build Self Confidence

Welcome to SELF SUCCESS ?

here is  some effective ways to instantly build Self Confidence

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
Helen Keller

 1. Take action. Get it done.

“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.”

2. Face your fear.

“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.”
William Jennings Bryan

3. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

4. Prepare.

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self- confidence is preparation.”
Arthur Ashe

 5. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

finally don't forget to say to your self evey day in the morning and in the evening , " i love my self , i accept my self , each time about 10 times...etc " 

Self Confidence Quotes

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.
Anna Freud

Anna Freud is the daughter of the world famous Sigmund Freud and she was worked in the psychoanalysis field.

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.
Madame Curie

Madame Curie (Marie Curie) was a world famous scientist and a winner of a Nobel Prize in two different fields. The ONLY person to have this accomplishment.

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.
Mary Kay Ash

Mary Kay Ash was an American businesswomen famous for her Mary Kay Ash cosmetic range.

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.
Helen Keller

Helen Keller was a truly remarkable person, she was the first paraplegic person to receive a degree. She was a well renowned lecture speaker, author and political activist

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor was the first lady to FDR. FDR also had a very similar and a very very famous quote, one that you should try and utilize : There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.
Vincent Van Gogh

Van Gogh is one if not the most famous painter in the world. His paintings never really gained the recognition they have until he passed away, however his legacy is unmatched in the artworld.

One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
Arthur Ashe

Arthur Ashe was an American tennis player. He was the first black tennis player to win a Grand Slam, and he still is the only black man to win Wimbledon, US Open and Australian Open. He was very active in charitable foundations after retiring from tennis.

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
William Jennings Bryan

A well renowned Amercian politician in the prominent in the early 1900s. Opposed banks so he is great in my eyes!

With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.
Dalai Lama

Everybody knows who the Dalai Lama is? Well check out Buddhism if you are not sure.

Number Ten

Until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life!
Rocky Balboa

How to Start a Conversation with New People

1. Start with a “hello,” and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step.
2. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there’s something unusual about it–bam!–you’ve got a great topic of conversation.
3. Offer a compliment. Don’t lie and say you love someone’s hair when you think it’s revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person’s looks or body.
4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves — get them going. “What classes are you taking this year?” “Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?” Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
5. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don’t let it go by without notice.
6. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don’t stare). Also, use the person’s name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person’s attention to what you are talking about.
7. Don’t forget to smile and have fun with your conversation!

Becoming Your Best Self - Ten Ways to Connect to Your Inner Confidence

Working with a variety of people from all walks of life has given me some insight into the process of success. Regardless of our background, skills, experience, or attitude, we can't be successful until we feel confident about who we are and what we're doing. It's one of those cart before the horse things, since we tend to think that being successful will give us confidence. In fact, feeling confident FIRST will allow us to experience success and the achievement of our goals. Here are some ways to connect to the confidence within you.

1. Be aware that confidence comes from inside, not outside. You can't use others as a yardstick. Other people take their cue from you. If you act confident, people will have confidence in you. If you are hesitant or timid, no one will be able to put their trust in you.
2. Start with your strengths (and we ALL have them). Make a list of your strengths, no matter how silly the list may seem at first glance. If you can boil a 'mean' pot of water or touch your nose with your toes, let yourself get in touch with how you feel about that. That feeling is known as confidence.
3. Allow the memory of confident times to be your trigger. It doesn't matter if it happened in the 2nd grade, remembering a time that you were on top of the world, if only for a moment, can be all you need to feel confident here and now, in this situation.
4. Confidence is like rabbits: it multiplies exponentially. Once you start feeling confident about everything you do well, you start looking for other areas you feel confident in. You also start feeling confident about things you haven't done before. You'll be able to more honestly assess your skills and expertise and give yourself the opportunity to succeed. Allow the feeling to multiply just like all those bunnies in that commercial where the gentleman has to get approval for a check.
5. Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude puts (and keeps) a smile on your face. What's the first thing you notice about confident people? They're smiling.
6. Identify your rules for feeling confident, then rewrite them! If I asked the question "What must be in place in order for you to feel confident?", I can guarantee that you will have a long list of conditions that must ALL be in place in order for you to feel confident. If I asked you who wrote those rules, you would answer "I did", although it may take you a moment or two to realize that fact. If you wrote the current set, take the initiative and rewrite your rules. Make them simple, stated in the positive, and totally in your control. (P.S. There is nothing more in your control than your thoughts. That's why #3 works.) One more thing: make sure your new list is divided by OR's, not AND's.
7. Hang out with confident people. Confidence is contagious. Actually, all feelings are contagious. Which group will make you feel better? One that exudes strength, confidence and positivity? Or one that is constantly seeing the worst that could happen, fearful of trying anything new, afraid to be embarrassed? Hang out with the one that makes you feel like you can accomplish anything you want!
8. Completion equals confidence. Finishing anything at all gives you confidence. The knowledge that you can put your mind to something and do it is all that is required to feel confident. Look around and finish everything you see unfinished.
9. Only you can kill the feeling of confidence. Just as you can't find confidence outside of yourself, no one else can stop you from feeling confident. Have you ever noticed that really confident people are oblivious to your opinion of them? No matter what you've done, it's only YOUR opinion that matters.
10. Don't worry about getting 'above' yourself. Some of us don't want to get too big for our britches. We think that downplaying our abilities is the way to go. The truth is that thinking is just another way to keep playing small. It undermines our ability to succeed because after a while we start believing that 'it' was no big deal. As Norman Vincent Peale expressed it: "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." I like that phrase, 'humble but reasonable'. If you keep that in mind, you can't go wrong.

Article Source

How to Look Good For Men

Listen, if you really to know how to look good, just take a look around you and notice what you like in people. Then, notice the trends… you’ll start noticing that most good looking people have similarities that go beyond just what kind of shoes they are wearing. (although that’s important too)
I think many of us have been trained to look for the wrong things when we think of looks. It’s likely that you have an incorrect illusions about what you need to do in order to look good… but it’s not your fault. Magazines, media and friends have all forced their ideas about what beauty should be and what it shouldn’t… and with a little repetition, those notions kind of just ‘sink in’.
While the fashion industry’s notion of beauty is wrong. The movie industry? Well… they sometimes get it, but I suspect that’s just the natural beauty of the actor or actress revealing itself.

In order to look good for the opposite sex, you must appeal to their desires.

If they desire you, then by definition, you are attractive to them. For example, women that appear slightly more revealing and easy going are usually seen as more attractive. “Of course!” you say, everyone knows that… but it’s the WHY that’s interesting. When women are more revealing, men have an easier time processing the idea that they could sleep with them… they just seem easier because they are closer to having less clothes! The clothes teases the mind, making the guy imagine what could possibly be behind.
This makes the woman seem much more fertile and therefore more attractive, on an instinctive level. To further this, the reason guys prefer women that wear heals is because they are already on their way to bending over forward, if ever so slightly. Subconsciously, they seem easier to sleep with to men because of the way they are positioned. As an added bonus, they appear taller, more slender and more submissive (this is the important one). The more submissive the woman, the more attractive she is to a man. Although I’ve seen women do crazy stuff on heels… they are usually more fragile and unstable, which is attractive to men. Read about being an alpha male for some notes on why this is.

7 Tips to boost your confidence

Everybody experiences a lack of confidence at some time in their life but with the right tools and techniques, you can overcome this. Follow the 7 tips below and watch your confidence grow:
1. Think about what confidence means to you and clarify it in writing. Then make a detailed list of all the characteristics you believe a confident person has.
2. Highlight any of the characteristics from the above list that you already possess then list the top 3 that you would like to have that you don’t currently possess and over the next few days try out these characteristics yourself. Persevere and have fun with it. Note down how you feel along with any responses you get from other people.
3. Create your own confidence role model. This may be one person that you know or you can take all the best characteristics of people you believe are very confident, including how they look, walk and talk, and use these to create your own unique confidence role model. These are essentially the characteristics of the person you would like to become.
4. When faced with a situation where you don’t feel confident, think about what you are focusing on. The chances are that they are very negative and energy sapping thoughts. This does not help your confidence! Instead you need to start thinking of things that fill you with energy. You have already created your own confidence role model so think about how they would act in this situation where you feel you lack confidence – you too can act in this way.
5. Think of your posture - stand tall and smile and your confidence levels will instantly rise. Also, think about the words you are using. Are they all negative sayings that have a negative impact on how you feel? If so re-think the words you use so that they are always positive. If you are telling yourself that you feel nervous then you will be.
6. Visualize. Start seeing yourself as the confident person you want to be. Before you do something that you feel you don’t have the confidence to do, run through in your head how your confidence role model would act in this situation. Then re-run it but instead of seeing your role model, you see yourself doing everything that your role model would do. If you do this regularly, you will become that confident person.
7. Put it into perspective and then just do it! What is the worst thing that could happen?
There is a great saying: "if you can believe it you can achieve it".

How To Understand Yourself and Others

A friend of mine had intense hatered towards her job, she used to explain to me how much she suffers every morning on her way to the office and how horrible she feels at the end of each weekend.

Whenever my friend told her friends or relatives about her problem they always gave her the same answer, "Be strong, everyone is working why do you want to be different"

Sadly their answer reflects how poorly they understand her because if they knew anything about people understanding they would have never said that. In this article I will teach you how to understand people better by telling you how to avoid the common mistakes everyone does when trying to understand someone else.

We are not the same!!

"Be strong, everyone is working why do you want to be different"

This answer stems from the false belief that everyone is identical while the truth is that each one of us sees the world differently based on his own past experiences.

If dogs ran after a six year old child he might grow up fearing dogs while if the parents of another guy bought him a small pet dog when he was six then he might grow up loving dogs.

If the second guy saw the first feeling uncomfortable because a dog was passing by he might think that he is a coward!! The main reason the second guy labeled the first one coward is that he judged him based on his own belief system. For the second guy dogs are not harmful so why on earth would someone fear them?

The first fatal mistake that can prevent you from understanding people is judging them based on your own belief system.

To understand people you must feel their emotions

The "be strong" advice stems from another false belief which is thinking that we all have the same level of tolerance towards different events but the truth is that we are completely different. A person might love to stay at home while another could suffocate if he spent few hours without interacting with people.

In order to understand people you don’t just need to put yourself in their shoes but you need to feel the emotions they experience.

When I spoke to my friend who hates her job I found out that deep inside her subconscious mind freedom was valued the most, and because she associated desk jobs with lack of freedom she couldn’t stand going to an office from 9 to 5 just like the rest of people.

I encouraged her to quit her job and she is now happy doing free lance training and coaching.

He is an idiot

One of the most common mistakes people do when attempting to understand each other is labeling them if they didn’t understand the intention behind their behaviour.

For example you could label a person dumb for doing something that appears non logical to you but as soon as you understand the reason behind his actions you might find that you were mistaken.

Calling someone idiot, mad or nuts are sometimes nothing more than a way to help yourself become familiar with his acts. We humans don’t like vague things and that’s why we rush to define everyone’s actions from our perspective just to feel that we understand them.

Many couples fight just because they assume each other's intentions incorrectly. If they were to discuss these actions face to face they would have found that the intention was good in many cases and they would have had less fights. 

how to be happy and feeling good about yourself

Feeling good about yourself

If you have low self esteem you will have a poor self opinion and this will affect every aspect of your life especially your ability to socialise and communicate with other people. This of course means that poor social performance will negatively affect you at work and in daily life lowering your self confidence at the same time. How can you reverse this downward trend and begin to feel good about yourself?

First you need to see and understand that there are lots of good reasons to feel positive about yourself.

Be grateful for what you have. Learn to love and appreciate what you have now before chasing new things you think will make you happy. If you are not happy now with all that you have why do you believe you will be happy with what you gain in the future?

Remember your achievements no matter how small. Everybody has done amazing things in their life and you are no exception. What are your major achievements?

How to Be Happy 

 This is gonna feel good.

1. Sit up straight.
2. Let your face come alive.
3. Smile as big as you enjoyably can.
4. If nothing else, look interested.
5. Grin, chuckle and laugh more.
6. Move energetically.
7. Touch your face the way you do when you're happy.

Remember you cannot be happy unless you follow most of these instructions!!

1. Play some "feel good" music.
2. Start thinking that happiness is a fact of everyone's life and it would be silly to change that.
3. Think about the happiest moment in your life.
4. Think about the greatest sense of success you've ever felt.
5. Think about a time the world seemed the kindest, when you were determined to NEVER give up.
6. If these are separate times, fuse them all together. Make it so they all happened at once.
7. Now relive them. Actually go through it again, down to the words and the actions.
8. Imagine yourself there again. Feel the joy again. Don't let your defenses separate you from the fun of it. It's happening. You feel great!
9. Read Chicken Soup for the Soul, Touched by an Angel and your favorite comic strip. Boy does that make you feel great or what???
10. Make healthy fun and happiness "today" a top priority.
11. Think about how unfair life is. Think about things you have that some others don't have. Thank God for wonderful gifts like your eyes, your thumbs, your dog & your friends.
12. Think about something bad going on in your world, then think "whats the healthiest thing I can do to make that a little better? Think till you get an answer. Then do it!
13. Think about something you have to do but hate to do, and then start thinking about what there is to really enjoy in this thing you must do. All the time you are doing this thing that you have to do but hate to do, focus on whats to enjoy anyways.
14. Return to the here and now. Think about how this exercise affected you. Can you do it once a day? Can you go through this much joy every day? Can you go through this almost continuously?