Your Biggest Fear Is Not What You Think

Not every day is blue sky and sunshine. Clouds move in, sometimes really dark ones. Life is dynamic and we're all in practice. Are you afraid of dark clouds? Do you pretend they're not there? Do you look away? Do you go out of your way to avoid them - maybe staying inside, closing all the doors and windows, and turning on all the lights? Life is to be lived, not avoided, and lived well you will engage some dark clouds.
I once had the feeling my life was like a big jet liner slowly losing altitude on a crash course with the mountains. There I was on this jet that was "going down" and I was doing all I could to relax, to feel good, to go with the flow, to release, etc. I was doing everything I knew to transform my experience, I knew all the tricks in the book, but nothing was working. The jet was on a crash course and there was nothing I could do about it.
What was I really afraid of? What was I trying to avoid?
This terrifying feeling was made worse by the fact I am supposed to be an inspiring teacher with my life "all together." However, as this jet was dropping, I realized I am not the teacher that denies life can be difficult and pretends that challenging moments and times don't exist. What I do teach is allowing and trusting, being there and being present. Being strong in your weakest moments by being weak, by being scared, by not knowing, and by just allowing.
Striving to escape the terrifying experience and feelings of impending doom is just old fear-based need for control. When we are afraid, we hate it, so we try to escape by gaining control. The fact we are afraid is a RED FLAG indicating an opportunity for transformation. The extent to which you can ALLOW and BE WITH the fear in the challenging times of your life is the extent to which you will powerfully move through these times. In a paradoxical kind of way, this is being weak in a powerful way.
If you are up to creating anything in your life that is truly challenging, for example your true life's purpose and mission, you will face ups AND downs. There will be numerous challenges and some dark clouds on the path. Your ability to ALLOW and BE WITH yourself in the midst of these challenges, or down times, just may be THE most important and powerful life skill you can develop.
Here's the key: It's not the "thing out there" you are afraid of, you are actually afraid of YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT THING. This is important. You are afraid that you won't be able to handle YOUR EXPERIENCE of that thing happening. The good news is that while you may not have control over what happens "out there" to you, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR RESPONSE AND HOW YOU EXPERIENCE IT.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." Marcus Aurelius
The bottom line is: You will have times of weakness and fear, but don't let them have YOU. Empower yourself and instead of fighting, resisting, or avoiding, choose to let them TOTALLY HAVE YOU. Choose to let them pass on through. It's still scary, it's still challenging, you will still want to escape it and change it, but there is a part of you that lives on a higher plane of awareness (especially after having read this!), that knows "this too shall pass." The river of life is always flowing, the scenery constantly changing, whether you're paddling or not! It's a practice that gets easier each time; you become aware of those challenging moments of fear, and you can recognize and allow them.
And guess what? Somehow the jet magically got fixed, right in mid air. I took my seat in first class, knowing with confidence once again that all is well and I'm right on course.
As human beings we love the excitement of varied and challenging experiences; few of us would be satisfied with a boring, simple life that involves none of the pain involved in growing. We may think that what we want is to avoid challenges, pain, and suffering, but what we actually want is the POWER TO BE WITH whatever may come--including great challenge, pain, and suffering.
Take a look for yourself right now. What do you REALLY want--no pain, suffering, or challenge? Or the power to be with whatever may come? Connect with your heart and look deeply--which position resonates as the more powerful place to be? What resonates as a life well lived? What resonates more as the truth of the path rather than a hopeful fantasy?
I think if you allow yourself to look deeply, what you'll discover is that what we want is to be the container within which these experiences can be held, to be big enough to allow and experience them, without shrinking away. The larger opportunity - and dare I say it, the reality of the path - is to embrace and allow, so that when they do show up (and they will), you can have the experience, rather than it having you. This is true freedom, and with true freedom comes true power.
Try this:
Look into your life and make a list of the things you are afraid of. You can look at anything you may be putting off or procrastinating doing. These are signs of fear lurking in the background. Why are you putting off this something? What are you afraid of? Make your list.
Once you have your list, look at each item and ask yourself, "Am I really afraid of this bad thing happening? Or am I more afraid that I can't and won't be able to handle it if it does happen? If I knew that I could handle this bad thing if it happened, would that decrease my fear of it happening?
Notice what you notice.
Congratulations - you're one step closer to your mojo!

Roger Kenneth Marsh is a Spiritual Life Coach & creator of the Major Good Mojo System. He has an engineering degree, MBA, is a Certified Life Coach, HeartMath® Provider, and Passion Test® Facilitator. Get his book "NexGen Human" on Amazon.com, and FREE CD "3 Keys to Major Good Mojo" at http://www.majorgoodmojo.com/free-cd

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Lose the Battle - Win the War

Sometimes we have to be prepared to lose battles in order to win the war.
God's way is patience, persistence and not-giving-up. If the battles can't defeat us, the war may still eventually be won.
Finishing well in life is not really about succeeding at every point along the journey.
Finishing well is more about pacing ourselves and acknowledging there are many mistakes to be made along the way, whilst savouring the wins as they come, knowing that they provide us with sufficient feedback to suggest we are on the right path.
Losing a battle in order to eventually win a war is a wise concession; to allow a loss to occur as in yielding for a better overall outcome.
There are many times in life where people will need to see us bend toward them; toward compromise. Relationships are always based in give-and-take. If we cannot bend toward people, copping our losses with grace, there will be less give in return.
When we can look at life beyond the battles, knowing that the war is only against one thing - the agenda of evil - we appreciate how relatively unimportant single events are.
The overall context of life exists in that truth: nothing, of itself, is that important. Only the overall balance of things is a true guide.
Losing the battle to remain in contention for winning the overall war is wisdom. And many such wars are not really wars at all; they are just improbable situations we wish to turn into probable outcomes.
The wisdom in remaining in the race despite significant discouragements is realised in persistence. As we persevere against our better judgment, which has no sight for faith at all, we employ faith: the invisible hope of what we wish for but have no evidence for seeing.
When we are able to lose a battle and remain patient we demonstrate character.
Such character is home to humility and perspective; to realism and peace.
The overall objective of life is to learn to focus on the overall war, not on the battles. If we are focused on the overall war - and it's a spiritual one - we will do what we need to do to endure the battles. And that is all we need do - endure.
Yes, there is peace upon this realism; to accept humbly what we can and can't do in life; to accept our capabilities and limitations gracefully.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

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Soul Development

Dr. Michael Newton added much to the research field about the development path of souls. His research was conducted with patients under the deepest levels of hypnosis so that they could access their soul memories, or in other words, their experiences that had occurred in the period between their successive lives. Dr. Newton (1998) found souls review their past lives in these periods of rest in Heaven, and study what they did right and what they could have done better, with the objective of best solving trials and tests during future lives. Of course our waking conscious does not remember any of this, so actually remembering and then implementing those plans during our life is an unsure proposition guided by the whisperings of our conscious trying to tell us to do what's right. Unfortunately many times it is simply more expedient to ignore our conscious and look out for what we think is our own self-interests. And yet from a soul's point of view, often times the goals of the soul's development are to put the needs of society and others above our self. (Consider the message of Jesus of Nazareth to turn the other cheek, etc. and you'll see that this is an age old concept wherein highly developed souls have tried to teach younger souls who still need to pass the test(s) of life so that they can move beyond this physical experience.)
A well-known psychologist could be added to the discussion of soul development though he certainly did not use the term in any of his writings. I am speaking of Dr. Abraham Maslow, who is best known for his Hierarchy of Needs Theory (1954); i.e. the Needs Pyramid. This theory is graphically represented by a pyramid that depicts one's baser physical needs at the bottom of a pyramid, such as food and physical safety while the more cognitive, spiritual and self-actualizing needs are at the top.
Maslow's theory basically stated that humans needed to satisfy their most immediate needs, represented at the lowest levels of the pyramid by life-sustaining physical and safety needs, before they could move onto their want, or non-mandatory "needs" in the middle and top of the pyramid. Maslow opined that while everyone desired to progress to the top of the pyramid by achieving self fulfillment in life, progress was often disrupted due to problems at the lower levels of the pyramid, such as financial difficulties, the loss of one's job, divorce, etc. Thus at any point in time, humans will be focused on solving their lowest-level unfulfilled needs in the Needs Pyramid before they are able to move on to those higher, more intangible needs.
While Maslow's theory has its limitations and critics, there is likely a lot of truth in the basic premise from a Western cultural perspective, which is highly materialistically focused. I can report anecdotally that I've been poor and I've been financially secure. When I was poor there was little I could focus on beyond trying to figure out how I was going to scrape together money for rent, food, and gas. Being a poor working student in college, this was not an ideal situation when what I needed to be doing was focusing on my studies and "finding" myself as a young adult. Both of the latter were disadvantaged, eventually to the point where I had to take a short break from school so I could finally solve the money problem. Once the money problem was solved, I was then able to go back and finish my college education, and as I became more stable in life, was eventually able to move onto mastering my own path towards self-actualization.
For people who want to achieve self-actualization, consider how you measure up with Maslow's (1968) fifteen common characteristics of persons who have achieved self-actualization. This could not only serve as a guide-path, but also as a self-check on your readiness to move to the next step in your (soul's) development.
1. They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty;
2. They accept themselves and others for the way they are;
3. They tend to be spontaneous in thought and deed;
4. They are problem-centered, vice self-centered;
5. They have an unusual sense of humor;
6. They can look at life objectively;
7. They are highly creative;
8. They are resistant to enculturation, but are not purposely unconventional;
9. They are concerned for the welfare of humanity;
10. They are capable of a deep appreciation for the basic life experience;
11. They establish deep, satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people vice shallow, social relationships with many people;
12. They seek peak experiences in life;
13. They have a need for privacy;
14. They have democratic attitudes; and
15. They have strong moral and ethical standards.
Maslow noted that it was not necessary for a person to portray all fifteen characteristics to actually be self-actualized. Further, Maslow did not equate the attainment of self-actualization with a state of perfection. Rather, becoming self-actualized was merely representative of achieving one's own personal potential and feeling satisfied and fulfilled in his/her life (Maslow, 1954). Given this final caveat, a person may be both self actualized and yet still working towards achieving more self-development and growth in his/her life.
Now let's say that you have "passed the test" with the fifteen characteristics, above, and you feel you are either somewhat or fully self-actualized. Is your soul's path of development complete? Apparently not because you're still incarnating on Earth! So where do you go from here?
Maslow eventually updated his five-level Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid, and divided the former pinnacle, self-actualization, to include a new apex need: transcendence needs. Transcendence needs differ from self-actualization needs in that they are more spiritual and altruistic in nature. Instead of being merely concerned for one's own needs, the transcendent person is also concerned about helping others to achieve self-actualization; to help them become fulfilled in life like him/herself.
Unfortunately, Maslow estimated that we cannot help everyone achieve self-actualization because only a small minority of people are ready to achieve their self-fulfillment needs. Maslow (1954) estimated that only one percent of Westerners ever achieved self-fulfillment because of competing demands/needs in their life, and the impact of competing societal motivations, such as the attainment of wealth, etc. So take this caveat as a hint if you feel you are on the final path of soul development and desire to fulfill your transcendence needs. You cannot help everyone, so focus your time and efforts on helping those who want to be helped, or by helping society as a whole, such as by volunteering or serving others. Be secure in the knowledge that the other 99% are still walking a path at lower levels of development and while they are not ready yet, eventually all souls will be ready to move on to the next level, and if you are not there to help them along, then maybe someone that you helped will be able to step in and carry on your good works once they are ready.

Wade is the author of The Hidden Truth: A logical path through compelling evidence to discover the nature of reality and the meaning of life, available at Amazon and Smashwords. The first half of the book is available for free at http://www.thehiddentruth.us, and http://www.smashwords.com.

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