How To Forgive And Forget: The Truth About Forgiveness

Much has been said about forgiveness throughout the ages. Despite all the spiritual and self-help advice we receive, however, most people still find it very difficult to forgive.
While we often say the words "I forgive you" or "let's forget and move on," still deep within our hearts we are not really letting go of most of the anger and blame we feel against someone who may have seriously wronged us. This can result in ongoing personal suffering that, for some, continues to last throughout their lifetime.
The reason why most spiritual and self-help advice about forgiveness doesn't help is because it doesn't delve deeply enough into the actual causes of our anger and blame in the first place. When you correctly understand the true causes of anger in human beings, you begin to deeply appreciate that the most important causes of anger and resentment lie mainly within us, and not with the behavior of others or whatever may have happened in the past.
These internal causes are anger-producing thought patterns and action patterns that become triggered within in our bodies. Often, these internal thought patterns and action or behavior patterns produce "false internal realities" within us that we automatically assume to be true, but that have little correspondence to the truth about what really happened. But we end up getting angry and holding on to our anger anyway, because our bodies automatically assume that all of these "internal realities" are indeed true.
For example, automatic anger-producing thoughts such as "someone did something they shouldn't have done" or "I was hurt or harmed by what happened" or "the other person was unilaterally to blame for what occurred" are frequently incorrect. As a result of these mistaken "internal realities," we conclude that a crime has been committed and that someone should apologize, offer to make amends, and/or be punished. When none of these things occur, or sometimes even when they do, we may find it very difficult to forgive.
There is no way you can "let go" of your anger or truly forgive the past as long as "false internal realities" remain unchallenged within you. You cannot pretend "all is forgiven" when you are certain that: a) you were seriously harmed; b) the other person (or yourself) was unilaterally to blame; and c) this person should have done something different.
THE SECRET TO TRUE FORGIVENESS IS TO CHALLENGE YOUR INTERNAL ASSUMPTIONS THAT LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE AN UNFORGIVABLE CRIME WAS ACTUALLY COMMITTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The best way to do this is to recognize where your automatic assumptions, which are causing your anger and resentment, are false or misleading. Once you challenge and disprove these "false internal realities," your anger and resentment will quickly disappear, without you having to do anything to try to force this to happen.
Even when a true crime, such as a theft or murder was committed, it is still possible--although not easy--to forgive the offending party. This can sometimes be done by challenging your automatic assumption that the person should have "known better" or should have behaved in a different manner.
Copyright (c) 2013 M.C.Orman, M.D., FLP

Doc Orman, M.D. is a physician, author, stress coach, and founder of The Stress Mastery Academy. To learn more about his advice on how to forgive, as well as how to solve other lingering stress or anxiety problems, visit http://stressandanxietysolutions.com

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What Are the Diamonds in Your Life?

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." - Fredrick Koeing
They say, "Diamonds last forever." And, that statement is true. Their brilliance and shine and value never diminish or go away. But, what typically doesn't last forever is our appreciation of these little gems.
In a way, their brilliance, shine and value are equal to the first day they came into your world. But for some reason the excitement and happiness you felt when they first became yours fades with time and the bling factor becomes just another thing factor.
STUFF AND THINGS
Think about how you felt when you got your new car. Were you excited? Did you love that new-car smell? Did it feel great riding around in it? Now how do you feel when you get in your car? Do you feel the same way?
What about when you bought your new home or some piece of furniture in your new home? Or, what about those new shoes, or that new sports equipment or new clothes?
Or the collectible thing-a-ma-jiggers you love? Or your vacation home or your boyfriend/girlfriend now husband/wife, the day your kids were born and all of the other diamonds that have come into your life with anticipation and excitement.
Think about how you felt then and how you feel now about those very same things. Do they hold the same value to you, or have you lost your appreciation of their value? It's more commonly known as taking things for granted.
Why does that happen? And, how do you get back those feelings of excitement when those feelings are buried along with the treasures that are right in front of you?
GRATITUDE
It's called appreciating the little things in your life. I think of it as re-looking at all the good that surrounds you.
All of those people and things that once made you so happy and excited when first receiving them can still make you feel that way if you stop for a second and REALLY look at them instead of glossing over them as they fade in the distance or they become a non-thing in your peripheral vision.
It only takes a millisecond to remember. It only takes a second to say, "Thank You" to the Universe, God or you Higher Consciousness.
Start every day by taking a minute to look around you and be thankful for all of the little treasures you've accumulated that make your home a home. Close your eyes and whisper, "Thank You" and send out a blessing to all of the people you love.
Look at the world through new eyes and begin to be happy and excited again because most of those diamonds are still there shining their brilliance into your life. But, all you have to do is take a second and REALLY see them so they can sparkle.
So, take a minute to stop and savor your blessings. Show your love and appreciation to someone you love and those are the diamonds that will shine in them long after you're gone. Those are the diamonds that last forever!

Susan Russo is fast becoming known as a miracle worker in transforming people's lives. She has the ability to turn negative circumstances into life changing opportunities. No matter where you are in life, if you want to change your life, she is the go to coach. To learn more about Susan's products and services go to: Susan's site. And, pick up a copy of her FREE ecourse too!

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Affirmations for Self Confidence and Self-Belief

 Positive Self Esteem

 I am confident that I can achieve anything

I have something special to offer the world

Others like and respect me

I am a wonderful human being

I feel great about myself and my life

Self Esteem Positive Affirmations

 

I deserve to feel good about myself

I know I can achieve anything

Having respect for myself helps others to like and respect me

• Feeling good about myself is normal for me

I approve of myself and feel great about myself.

I radiate love and respect and in return I get love and respect.

I am a well loved and well respected person.

I am a cultured and wise and yet, a humble person.

My high self esteem enables me to respect others and beget respect in turn.

I am free to make my own choices and decisions.

I am a unique and a very special person and worthy of respect from others.

My high self esteem allows me to accept compliments easily and also freely compliment others.

I accept others as they are and they in turn accept me as I am.
It matters little what others say. What matters is how I react and what I believe.

All is well in my world and I trade love and acceptance with the world.

I have high self esteem as I respect myself.

positive affirmations

Your healthy lifestyle is determined by positive affirmations!

 

7 tips to creating powerful affirmations that will change your thinking and motivate you achieving you goals.

1. Begin with the words “I am”
2. Use the present tense
3. State in positive terms and make them dynamic.
4. Keep it simple and brief
5. Include at least one emotion and action words to make your affirmations powerful enabling the outcome you desire i.e words ending in -ing.  Imagine the emotional state you would be feeling if you had already achieved the goal. For example – celebrating, proudly, happily, excitedly, lovingly, enthusiastically, joyfully – you get the picture.
6. Be specific.
7. Make your affirmation about you and your behaviours.

 

List Of Positive Affirmations

  - I am successful in whatever I do
  - I plan my work and work my plan
  - I focus on what is truly essential
 - I will make the most of new opportunities
 - The universe provides for my every want and need

- I speak with confidence and calm assurance
 - I make positive healthy choices
- I feel energetic and full of life

my gift for you is

   Printable affirmation cards on self-esteem

Positive Affirmation Cards

download this picture and print it ,  than cut each card and color it ,  enjoy :)

 

positive affirmation self-love

affirmation to read DAILY  and reflect on…..

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)